so here goes nothing...

a couple minutes ago I was thinking how I'm not ready for this year, and I'm scared for it.

But I think I will change my own mindset. I hate that inspirational shit, like, "You can do anything!" (because you can't do ANYTHING, you're human).

With that said, I am changing it up. Sure, I don't know what is going to happen within this next year. I could lose so much, and gain so much, but I've decided that no matter what, I promise to myself that I will be ready. Maybe this means I will be more standoffish, or less trustworthy, but I am going to take whatever bad shit happens and move on and know that in a month I will be over it. So I'm diving into this year fuckin' head on. Nothing is more important, in the long run, than me feeling good and real, so fuck anyone who is going to try and bring me down this year, 'cause I won't take it. And I am damn serious. This isn't like me, I know, but when something gets me down I can look back at this and keep my head up. I know that I have friends who think I am a good person, and who will always be there for me. I'm good. I'm going to make it out of this year... 

alive.

so here goes nothing.